6 Steps on improving listening skills

One of the best things you can do for your employees, your customers, your colleagues, and yourself is to learn to be a good listener. It is a valuable skill in any situation but the ability and willingness to be a good listener are particularly helpful for anyone in a management position. Learning to listen actively and carefully can radically transform your relationships, your productivity, and your effectiveness as a leader.Following are some tips for helping you to become a good listener.
1. When someone is speaking to you, either in person or on the phone, focus your attention on the conversation. Don’t do other things at the same time, don’t look away, and don’t take another phone call. If you’re communicating face to face, look the person the eye, turn your body forward, and maintain a relaxed but attentive countenance. By focusing your attention, you’ll not only absorb the message more fully, but you’ll also increase the other person’s confidence that you are indeed listening attentively.
2. Listen for key information and key feelings. Good listening is a function of the ears, the mind, and the heart. Of course you should listen for the important details of what the person is saying, but it’s also essential to listen to how it’s being said. Every time someone speaks to you, they’re giving you clues about their state of mind, degree of urgency, communication style, and attitude. This can provide you with valuable insights about how to respond for the best results.
3.Let the other person finish speaking. When having a discussion with someone, always let the other person finish speaking before you respond. Don’t interrupt, don’t rush the person, and don’t start thinking of what you’re going to say until the other person is finished speaking.
4. Pause before you respond. Once the other person has finished speaking, pause for a few seconds before you respond. This allows the message to sink in, gives you time to formulate your response, and shows the other person you’re actively listening to what he or she has to say. You might be surprised at what happens when you do this—we’ve found that most people are shocked to discover someone listening with such patience and attentiveness.
5. Show your support. Whenever it’s called for, empathize with and show your support for them. Even if you don’t fully agree with what they say, it’s important to make sure that they feel they’ve been heard. Showing that you care and understand will help you to maintain a good relationship with the people you manage.
Here are a few lead-ins to empathy statements:
“I can appreciate . . .”
“I understand . . .”
“I know what you mean. . . ”
“I don’t blame you for being upset about that . . . ”
6. Confirm your understanding. If what the other person is saying to you is at all complex or lengthy, confirm your understanding of what he or she has said. To do this, you can verbally summarize the main points of what you’ve heard and then ask if your understanding is correct. Confirming is important not only because it shows you’re paying attention, but also because it gives the person an opportunity to hear his or her statement echoed. This gives the person an opportunity to correct you if the information is not accurate.